First of all, it has been a great day. I was able to have my left drain pulled today. It finally got down to 25ml/24hr!!! Yeah!! It feels amazing, but now my right drain is very irritating. It is just now getting down to 30ml/day. I am thinking Saturday will be the day!!
I have also had a weird emotional kind of day. Had a lot of time to think. My BRCA mutation is a BRCA2 deleterious mutation. Deleterious just means dangerous. The BRCA2 though also has increased risk for prostate, melanoma, pancreatic and colon cancer besides from the obvious breast and ovarian cancer. So I have been putting off making an appointment with the dermatologist. It has been recommended that I have my skin checked once a year for any changes. I don't feel that I have noticed anything abnormal, but it is scary. I don't want to admit that I tanned a lot in high school and periodically for several years after high school. I knew the stupidity of my choices then, I just hate to think about it. I am now the poster child for sunblock. I put it on every day under my make-up. I know that does not make up for all the years of stupidity, but I can't change that.
The other thoughts I have had today, is when do I tell the boys? After they turn 18, after they graduate college, when they get married? I don't know. I don't want them to think I have been hiding anything from them, and I want them old enough to understand. I want to tell them before they have children, not that I think this should change their mind on having children, I just feel they need to be aware. It would have never changed my mind on having children. Having this mutation just means we need to be proactive. Or do I tell them when they are teenagers, when they wonder why I am still freaking out about not letting them out of the house without sunblock. My poor boys are going to have to do what I do, find some really awesome sunless tanner. You can get some really good kind anymore and I just put it on after I shower every couple of days to keep me from looking quite so pasty. Trust me.... if I didn't you would think I was horribly sick. I need a little color. Sunblock doesn't really allow for that much.
Luckily our family has not had any pancreatic cancer that I am aware of. My genetic counselor said pancreatic cancer does not tend to "pop up" out of no where. You will tend to have a long history of pancreatic cancer in the family. I would have to ask around a little, but I do believe there has been a lot of prostate cancer in family (how to tell that to the boys, when I inform them of this).
Those are my thoughts for the day.........
I have similar concerns. First off I was an idiot and tanned till I was 25. Im 29. Im a slow learner. Second, I worried about having a girl and subjecting her to the same decisions we were forced to make. But you know what, I wouldn't undo my fate. It's made us that much stronger and there are so many genetic cancers out there that can't be tested. Your boys will just be so much more aware of their health and in the end, it will be a good thing and they will understand.
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