Well, I debated back and forth about wanting to start a blog about my journey or not. I never did well like English in school and never cared for creative writing growing up, but seriously it came down to that I am recovering at home today by myself and I need to vent. This first post will be quite long. My journey started back in July of 2012. That is when I was given the news that I had a BRCA mutation. I received this news one week before my husband was to start working in Oklahoma during the week and would only be home on the weekends. I was home during the week with a 2y/o and 4y/o and stressed and felt alone. Within weeks of my husband taking that job he decided to find something else closer to home. Thank-Goodness!!!! I was an emotional mess and needed my husband more than ever. I decided fairly early on that I would have a prophylactic bilateral mastectomy with reconstruction. I did not even want to think about having to go through chemotherapy. My first appointment with the breast surgeon was on October 15,2012. I also had a mammogram (my first ever!) and a breast MRI scheduled earlier the same day. Once I was done with the test, I went to see the doctor. I was told then that there was a suspicious spot on my mammogram and the breast surgeon could palpate it. It was so small I would have never found it! The doctor decided that I needed a needle biopsy that day and I would get results in the next to 3-5 days. Luckily my results were benign. That was the longest few days of my life..... I knew for sure at that point that I did not want to go through the stress of that again. I also was told that I had a couple of suspicious lesions on my MRI and that they would like to repeat my MRI in 6 months. So in November I met with the plastic surgeon to discuss reconstruction options. There are several different options available, permanent implants and a couple of different autologous tissue procedures. At first being told you could pretty much have a tummy tuck and breast reconstruction all at once. Why not!!! Well the PS (plastic surgeon) told me I had enough fat on my belly and thighs to really only reconstruct one breast. So tissue expanders and silicone implants it is!!!
Now came to scheduling. After changing my surgery date 3 different times, February 6th was the final date. (3rd times a charm, right!)
Preparing for Surgery:
I could tell in January that I was getting nervous, anxious, and scared about my surgery. My husband seemed to be a little more distant in January which didn't seem to help my stress level. Which come to find out later, he was just as stressed. Just kept it to himself.
I had pre-op appointments, lab work, fitting for post mastectomy under garments. Also getting everything at my job all lined up since I was going to be on FMLA for a while.
Day of surgery (February 6th)
I had to be at the hospital by 5:30 am and nothing to eat or drink at midnight (of course...you never want anything in your stomach before surgery). My husband seemed so calm and I was a stressed out maniac. I could have hated him that morning for being able to be so calm (J/K I love him dearly, but it seriously was not fair). At about 7 am they kicked my husband out of my pre-op room. We gave our hugs and kisses and I cried a little (of course I did, I am a girl!) I had a paravertebral block and then was wheeled to the operating room. I warned anesthesia of my week stomach and they placed a scopolamine patch behind my ear.
Waking up from surgery
Once I was in recovery, and was able to stay awake longer than 3 seconds they brought my husband back. That is when I saw the fear and stress in his eyes. It was the first time I have ever seen that kind of emotion from him. He sat out in the waiting room for over 7 hours without getting an update. He (like any other human being) started to think the worse. At that point, we both realized how much he had been stressing about the surgery, he just didn't display it like I did. Well I stayed in recovery for a little over 4 hours before I got a room in the hospital. The hospital was full and I needed to wait for a room to open up. I was horribly nauseous and got sick 3 times that night, even with the scope patch, Zofran, and Benadryl. That night my husband went to sisters house (she had our children while I was in surgery) and fell asleep the same time as our kids. He was worn out!!
Next morning
I didn't sleep well. Between the nausea and having to get up to the bathroom about every hour and half (they must have given me a lot of fluids in surgery)! I was told that morning I would be able to go home, I just needed the doctors to write discharge orders and get the scripts written that I needed. The main one I was concerned about was Zofran! I had a 2 hour drive home and didn't even want to know what it would do to my stomach. I was finally discharged around 4:30-5:00pm. It was so great to go home!!
At home:
Well my husband was so sweet and supportive, he treated me like I was going to break for several days! Would help the boys sit on my lap (can't pick them up, 10 lb weight restriction). Get me whatever I needed. Needless to say I am 9 days post-op today and he know longer considers me so fragile!
Our church has been so wonderful. They brought us dinner every night for one week after I was discharged!!! That was such an amazing gift that they provided for us!!
Today (February 15 )
Now I get to just vent!! (warning pity party involved!!!!)
I feel crummy!!! I have been nauseous all morning long! I have felt miserable for the past 2 days. Yesterday I was achy and exhausted. Today I am nauseous and exhausted! Then that makes me an emotional mess!! I just want to get back to feeling normal again. I think I have over done it earlier this week. And now I am feeling it. Have I ever told you how much I hate nausea!?!?!? I hate sitting in the recliner all day long!! Oh and I hate my drains!!! I have JP drains on each side..... They are horribly uncomfortable!!! Connor thinks they are pretty cool.... He calls them my "pumps". Kids are so funny!! I hate how I can't pick up my boys right now! Ok I feel better! I had some chicken noodle soup while typing this. And my sick feeling is starting to go away. I also need to remember this is temporary! This is much better than the exhausted, crummy, achy, and nausea feeling that I would have with chemotherapy. I plan to keep up with this since I still have a long journey ahead. I have a follow up appointment on 2/18/2013. I hope to find out my pathology report then. (remember those suspicious spots on the MRI.) Hopefully everything comes back normal!
I found several blogs prior to my surgery, which helped me tremendously prior to surgery I could see what other woman went through. I met an amazing young woman who is my age that had the same surgery I did on February 5th!! It has been wonderful to talk and vent with her! I hope my blog can be of help to someone down the road. I will not be posting any pictures of my recovery ( I know it is just a surgical site, I just personally don't feel comfortable posting pictures) I did find it rather helpful to read blogs that had pictures. So I will include one blog in particular that did an excellent job at photographing her recovery. My difference is that I had skin/nipple sparing surgery and she did not.
http://lianne-brca2.livejournal.com/profile
Thanks for letting me vent!! I will try to keep up on this!
-Jess.
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