Pity Party for two....

So today was my follow up and plan for my first fill.  To start off, I want to remind everyone that I had 175ml a side to start with.  Well, the nurse prepped me for my fills and gave me 30 ml on each side.  She told me that the first one is 30ml a side and then 60 ml side after that if you can tolerate it.  After my fills were complete, Dr. P. came in to check my sutures before the nurse removed them.  Dr. P didn't like the look of my right side incision again.  I had an approximate 3 cm dehiscense on that side. (which is the separation of the incision).  There isn't anything you can really do to prevent it.  At my last surgery the doctor had sutured and dermabonded my incision to keep it intact and it still split open.  Well today Dr. P resutured that spot, applied dermabond also.  After he was done he didn't like how much tension was on the sutures so he had the nurse remove the 30 ml that were placed on the right.  After the 30ml were removed, the doctor decided to have the nurse remove another 35ml to decrease the tension that much more. So now I have 140 ml on the right and 205 ml on the left.  I will need to wait 2 weeks and return to have my sutures removed and to have an expansion done then. I didn't ask, but I assume once my fills get started, I will just have 10-15ml less placed on the left until I am evened out.  I am to contact the dr. immediately if my incision starts to separate again.

So I was emotional again when I left the doctor's office. I called mom and she is good at encouraging me and reminding me that at least I am not dealing with cancer and a year from now I will realize that these were all minor setbacks. I kept thinking as I was leaving the office, I am so glad I get a long so well with my surgeon.  Because I seem to cry every time I leave his office.  I know it isn't his fault. 
  He is great to get along with and explains well what he is doing and why.  I appreciate that so much.  Also, I asked him today if this was going to extend my activity restriction and he said no.  Thank- goodness!!!  I did tell him how happy that made me.  I also said that I as worried that if I was to stay on the activity restriction too much longer that I was going to need lipo along with my reconstruction.  He just laughed and told me that I didn't have any fat cells.  He at least knows the right things to say to make me feel better! :-)

So to explain the title....  I have this wonderful friend I met before my surgery.  I have mentioned her before.  She had surgery the day before I did.  She has been such a wonderful person to talk with during this process. We both have had different types of minor complications and setbacks.  When I was leaving the office today, I saw she had a bad day today and posted on facebook.  " A pity party for one"  Well I commented below saying "Make that a pity party for two, please." 
On my wonderful 2 hour drive home, I have an amazing amount of time to think.  I began to think about everyone has setbacks, everyone has bad days, and I know there are people at there with a lot tougher time than what I am having.  I began to think about a blog I have been reading by this amazing woman who has advanced breast cancer.  She knows her time is near, but she talks about her motivation to keep fighting for every day she has left.  She has amazing spirit and faith.  She had me so emotional the other day.  She is continuing chemo to extend her time.  She talks about the fatigue, nausea, and weight loss.  She takes it with such grace that I admire.  The other day she wrote how she felt like one of those blow up punching bags that kids get.  You punch it and no matter how bad the blow, it always bounces back.  Over time that punching bag loses air and just can't bounce back anymore.  This woman talked about how she was just out of air that day.  Emotionally, mentally, and physically out of air.  I must remember that my punching bag still bounces back after a bad blow. 

Thank-you everyone for my pity party.  I probably will not have an update for 2 weeks since not much is going to be happening until April 11th.

So until next time...  Everyone deserves a pity party once in a while.  Just remember to bounce back and don't let any road blocks stop you!